Most people have 15 - 40 self-defeating attitudes(SDA). These SDA are being reinforced and kept alive by:
What we do or what we don't do.
The people who are in our lives.
The movies we watch.
Who we work for.
The music we listen to.
The things we say to ourselves.
Our interpretation of a situation (mind reading).
Not knowing what are self-defeating attitudes are.
Let's look at a common self-defeating attitude. "If I don't please people, they won't like me and I'll be all alone".
Behaviorally you will focus on what people want not what you want.
The people you hang around with are controlling and they tell you what to do.
The movies that you watch will be the ones that show that doing for others is the way to be for example, "It's a Wonderful Life".
New Healthy Attitudes:
"I must be me and take care of me".
'I will not let what people say influence what I really want".
"I the deserve best".
New Healthy Behaviors:
Find nurturing people and make them your friends.
Learn to know what you want and get it.
Ask people for help.
Watch movies that show changing into a more assertive happier person for example, "Wildcats".
This is an example how we help people change from a self-defeating attitude to a healthy attitude. This is the beginning to a healthy and comfortable life they can enjoy.
